A new baby! And all over our house you can see the signs. The bassinet is clean, has a clean sheet, and is set up in our bedroom. The swing and bouncer seat (Thanks Erin!) are set up and have fresh batteries. Newborn clothes are washed and packed in my hospital bag. The infant car seat is clean and waiting for Chad to install it this weekend. At 37 weeks pregnant, I couldn't be more excited or ready to meet our new baby! I was trying to explain to Chad a few days ago what "nesting" feels like: "It's like a little voice in your head saying 'Get ready! Get ready' all the time." It's really a great feeling and I know that in the coming months I will appreciate the TLC I'm giving our house, car, and stuff in these last few weeks. I love this baby so much! I think most parents often wonder privately to themselves "Will I love this child like I love our first?" This is because when your first child is born your heart explodes with love that you didn't even know you had. I feel like my heart has already expanded and made room for this little one equal to the love I have for Graham. What a miracle! I can't wait to see Graham and Molly interact and eventually play, talk and grow up together. My greatest joy! I don't know how you could ever explain this feeling to someone who doesn't have kids themselves. You just can't fully understand it. I know now why when I was teaching, my students' mothers would often ask "Do you have kids?" Especially when their child was struggling. I understand what they were trying to say! They were saying "Do you know how I'm feeling? That this child is my whole world? Do you know what it feels like when someone criticizes your child, even with the best intentions? Do you know how my heart breaks to see them have to struggle and learn? Do you know that I would do anything to take away their every hurt, and yet I know that I can't?" That's what being a mother is like. I wouldn't trade it for anything and I can't wait to do it all again.
And so, even though I fully remember how incredibly hard taking care of a newborn is, I remember being sleep deprived, I remember how your every thought hangs on breastfeeding and wet diapers, I'm still SO EXCITED. I can hardly wait. There's nothing else I'd rather do!
(That doesn't mean that I don't occasionally need to be reminded of that, though.) :)